Filter THIS Out of Love and Love Ceases to be Love!


What if the greatest power for healing is found in our sexuality?

The media and stories, the warnings and commandments of religions, the laws of governments seek to suppress and control our sexuality…to separate us from and prevent us from knowing the most powerful of healing forces.

Let’s be fair. We cannot solely point the finger of blame for suppression at the institutions.The fear of early pregnancy and the idea that property ownership was to be handed down to men’s own blood or seed was impetus for morality. Men wanted to control women’s sexuality so they could be reasonably assured the children they would raise and give their life work to, would be their offspring. At the same time men were in need of women to play out the double standard with which also increases need to suppress women so they could be certain who fathered offspring. Then, there was the additional effort to make men stay and support the family. He’s more likely to do that if he’s assured the children are from his ejaculate. Let’s face it. When a child is conceived, life gets more complicated.

Now we have birth control available that can be used but the old belief paradigms prevent birth control methods from being used for too many youth. Somehow people forget that it wasn’t long ago a girl was married and started reproduction when she became fertile, long before her body had completed its growth into adulthood. Birth control wasn’t an issue because breeding was expected!  Only recent generations have had an adolescence in which adult responsibility is delayed past the early to mid-teens and the agenda is to delay making babies. But mother nature didn’t agree to the delay pregnancy program and if anything has puberty moving the other direction! Mother nature’s agenda is reproduce and she’s using all her tricks to get sperm to meet eggs. We can experience our sexuality for all its benefits and trick mother nature right back. We can have babies if and when we want them and with that have freedom to know the benefits of sexuality as never before. The secrets are being revealed. Now we have proof of a myriad of benefits of sexuality including that staying sexually active keeps us younger and healthier.

There is another aspect to repression of sexuality. I remember when I was a teenager how my sexuality was outright frightening because I felt it so strongly I feared would take me over and I would do things that would get me into trouble. Girls got pregnant. A kid had no chance of getting the druggist to hand over condoms. In great fear and secrecy I took a chance on going blind and having hair grow in the palms of my hands. I masturbated…a lot…to keep my sexual drives from driving me into every girl I could find with our without consent. My sex drive just wanted to have sex. I was afraid of all the complications like being in trouble and having a pregnancy I would be co-responsible for with someone I wouldn’t be happy to co-parent with. I needed help. I needed some safeguards to keep my sex drive from creating risk and worry. Then the disease threats!

So I learned to manage my sex drive through repressing it, hiding it, and lying about what it really was/is.

But is that natural? Is that what prevents us from experiencing the profound beauties of sexuality including that sexuality is profoundly healing?

If I tell what I haven’t dared for people to know: I have not only repressed my sexuality when I wasn’t having sex, but carried it into having sex too! And I observe I’m not alone. I have had experiences where a lover took me into sensations and pleasures so intense I felt I was ceasing to be and the unknown would take me over. So clamored in panic to stop and build barriers so I wouldn’t get lost and become the sexual experience. Wrong direction Dennis!

I have had lovers with whom I took way beyond where they’d been before with sexual pleasure only to find they would never again journey with me to take them that direction. The problem might have been the unknown and unexpected taking them without warning but afterward they bult defenses never knowing about could happen and its benefits.

Recently we were traveling with another couple. We played some fun and sensual games then ended with our own partners. One of the beauties of being open and sexual with others is what can be learned. I watched in amazement as my friend did something entirely new to my repertoire of possibilities, but in even more amazement watched his wife stay in surrender to the intensity of the experience he was stimulating. One can argue she built up to the ability to do that, but even so, most people don’t trust just allowing sexuality to take them into the pureness of pleasure and ecstasy, being in whatever happens without controlling in any way.  I’ve always wanted to be able to burst through my own barriers of control. I was so inspired to see how she stayed in surrender to the moment. Now I feel more motivation to let go like I saw her in let-go.

The movie “Bliss” (1997) is full of teachings, of sexual wisdom in the character Baldazar who is a sexual healer. At one point in the movie he tells about the state of let-go into the pleasure of sexual ecstasy as the way to healing sexual wounding. Wow! I have visited that concept again and again thinking of all the head work we do to try to resolve sexual wounding, and how this is all about re-alaigning the body’s sexual energies with the most healthy and healing of sexual energy. This is replacing the intensities of wounding with even more intensity by surrendering into vulnerability, being in trust, and being utterly sexual pleasures, sensations, and all that adds up to ecstasy, burning away and replacing in our bodies and energy fields, the wounded sexuality!

That is healing!

But even more 20 years ago in a community in which it was accepted to be with multiple partners, I began to intend my healing energy to enter women through penetrating them in intercourse. So many women I attracted to me had been inappropriately sexualized in their youth (I also was inappropriately sexualized) or the women had been raped. Often it was both with multiple incidents. The women began talking about how it was changing, healing them. Some years later I would learn about a Tibetan Enlightened Master named Milarepa who did amazing things with his lingam (penis) including through sex, his life-force energy initiating women into enlightenment. It is obvious that a man can impregnate women with much more than a baby, including healing them and implanting energy into them that can boost their consciousness!

As a man have I had women’s energy penetrate me? Absolutely. Most not in ways I benefitted from but some partners changed my life, healed me, with the energy they activated in me as my lovers.

So with our sexuality, being conscious about it and with the wisdom to keep on healing ourselves with diligence to keep watch for new “stuff” coming up in ourselves, we can pass something along to heal our beloveds, male or female, through entering or through taking in another person sexually.

I am a student/practitioner of energy work. I love reading studies about the benefits of sex. I won’t re-tell what you can research on the internet. What I do want to mention is that of the 9 energy systems of our energy system, one of them is able to operate with wisdom and go where it is needed. It is called “Radiant Circuits” and there are techniques to aid them, to give them the energy to do their jobs with. They assist the other more fixed energy systems if they’re given the power they need to assist with. There are some pretty silly ways to stimulate radiant circuits if the best and most powerful method of energizing radiant circuits for some reason isn’t acceptable or available in the moment of need. You may be ahead of me and are thinking I am going to tell you sexual stimulation is the magic for radiant circuits, and if you were ahead of me, you are right!

Then there’s the aspects of the wounded psyche. The psyche is imprinted with all the fear, shock, shame, guilt, blame, etc. of our sexual conditioning. The myriad of mixed messages make a junk yard of us when it comes to experiencing our sexuality in purity and clarity. The lack of appropriate training leaves us to learn by accident, trauma, pain, and all sorts of energies that imprint our energy fields and body tissues making a mess of a beautiful opportunity when we’re “having” sex with or without a partner. These messages, imprints, etc. are all about separation and loneliness…deprivation and lack. We intensely crave what we need and at the same time have powerful barriers to meeting our needs. The more we feel need, the more we pretend we don’t when we’re “dis” eased, or unable to conduct ourselves with ease in our sexuality.

What does it mean to be healed? To be whole, to be free of segmentation, to be clear and open in vulnerability and trust, to be ever expansive, and I am certain much more we don’t have words for and haven’t approached the experiences of?

We heal not in one all-or-nothing mega event, but in each and every little (and sometimes big) cleaning of our sexual junk yard, revealing ease with our sexuality. The intent to heal, to readjust and keep moving into that intention is the power of the healing journey. Intending is a little different quality than wanting to or wishing for. Intention activates the journey in the micro moment the intention is conceived of. It is pre-language! It is in the moment, and it is why intention does what anything based in thought and language fails to accomplish. There is only power in the moment and the longest journey between two points is the distance from the moment to language to describe the moment (Paraphrased from Osho). When we close down awareness of the moment to think about the moment we stopped in and make word discriptions we’re in the past, not the moment! There is no power in past or future because we think they exist and thinking they exist doesn’t make them exist. As humans we have ability to limit ourselves by not staying present in now. So change can only be initiated in now. Past and future have no essence, they’re only ideas. Sex is powerful. One characteristic of sex is that there are moments in sex we can’t think, we are compelled to stay in the moment as it unfolds. Therefore sexual pleasure makes profound differences.

So to enjoy sexual energy with others, or ourselves, is to work with our very life source energy, activating it into glowing and moving and healing. Please note the difference between that and sexual trauma which effects sexual energy in ways that distort it’s natural and normal flow. When sexual trauma has left behind its effects, it cannot be fixed by mind fixes but requires healthy entering again into sexual experience, breaking up the imprints and frozen twisted and gnarled pathways that are too distorted to be pathways of normal healthy and beneficial flow. It takes the most sensitive and carefully guided skill of practitioners who set their own sexual agendas aside to be a tool of healing, to enter into distorted sexuality, freeing the imprints of frozen energies and re-aligning the flows so they freely move energy for sexuality to be what it was meant to be. However with meditation and consciousness lovers may go there. That is how it was discovered and how it came to be in the repertoire of sexual healers. No one owns, has a franchise, or is the one-and-only pathway for sexual healing from an otherworld source. Sexual healing is so important there are no exclusive rights. Independent lovers may figure it out, but there are a lot of helps available and mostly free.

Not all who profess to be sexual healers can consistently set their own needs aside so they don’t “take” from someone seeking healing. We need to heal and as we are healed. We need to touch others with healing giving and using healers to support our energy, not even subtly taking energy from us.

Can we have love as the healer without sexuality? Only partially, but if we’re to heal at our core, if we’re to activate and free our life-force to be all we are able to be, we have to do the work with our life-force energy which is our sex energy.

Sure it is useful to do other work in preparation such as measuring ourselves against the conditioning and programming we’ve been carrying around and letting dominate with overriding force the things we need and benefit from the most. The more we can debunk and free ourselves from the imprints on every level possible, the more we’ll be successful with clearing the junk-yard of our sexuality and turning it into the flow, movement, and beauty of a representation of the cosmos itself!

Can we start with doing the work at the sexual level? Yes indeed. What must be prepared for is that the barriers preventing our healthy sexuality will come up. We need to be ready with resources to help us through what comes up. We aren’t alone and retreating, thinking we can get sexually healthy alone, is not a part of sexual healing. It takes community because our sexuality is the energy of Oneness and Oneness is frustrated by not allowing it to flow when a person isolates themselves or avoids Oneness experience.

Sexual healing is a community thing. That doesn’t mean the communities we’re used to which continue throwing refuse into our sexual junk-yard, but community of those who are on the journey of sexual healing with you…further on the journey than you, enough to be there for, not taking from you, not exploiting for their own unhealed stuff. We are all potential partners in sexual healing when we find and participate in community with others seeking sexual healing which is healing the flow of our life force.

Sexual misuse is disempowering. Sexuality in its rightful healed state of being takes us into the mysteries of life, exploring our ever expansive nature. It is so spiritual we have no need for religions and that is why religions must try to stop us from turning our junk-yards they’ve dumped a lot of rubbish into, into the beauty of the cosmos. People knowing their power through their life force energy being radiant, flowing, and in Oneness are frightening to the pseudo power of politics and those who are “on the side of the law.” People who are healed in their sexual life-force have more opened to them than anyone understands and activates others, initiates others, into clearing out their junk-yards. Too many people not involved in sexual health are afraid of those who are. Isn’t it mysterious how they cannot “live and let live” with those who don’t live sexuality as they do? Too often they exert all the force they can muster to try to pull sexually healthy people down. Yet if everyone were actively on their own sexual journey they’d be excited to have the resources of those who are ahead of them to inspire and give energy to their healing journey.

I won’t try to muffle people’s questions about whether “Love is the Healer” is about sexuality any more. I declare instead that sexuality is our life force, love is our life force, love is the power of the universe, love is what activates everything of Oneness, and sex is not somehow filtered out of love. It is there because it cannot be otherwise.

PRO-INCLUSION POLICY: We encourage LOVE in whatever form is most comfortable and expressive of each individual soul. In alignment with our vision of an accepting and loving planet, we do our best to hold a safe space for everyone, regardless of people’s age, abilities, gender, gender identity, race, religion or belief, or sexual orientation.