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It’s This Thing About Closets

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This body recently marked the transition from the 64th ending to the 65th year beginning. That’s trips around the sun on THIS planet. Hopefully I have dropped everything I was ever told, conditioned, or programmed about the ages I am passing through.

But the bigger realization is a new career is launching. It has been planned many years. Everything is coming together. And I have been hiding in my closet hoping to be discovered, have people see what I offer, rip away my closet, and announce me to the world who will love and accept me.

I know what you are thinking: “Taint so. Nobody going to do that.”

Love Is The Healer. The words say something. They’re nice words. My van has the logo on it. People come into stores or restaurants asking for the owner of THAT van. People take pictures of it. I get people complimenting it at stop lights. I get off on being so clever.

Still nobody relieves me of my closet.

Peggy Phoenix Dubro likes to tell that for a time being spiritual for her was to be a nobody as an ego, it wasn’t spiritual to be somebody. But Peggy noticed she was treated as nobody because that was what she was living out. It taught her there’s a flaw in the idea of dissolving into the void, into nothingness.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne WilliamsonA Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

 

I devoured this quote. I had Marianne’s book and listened to her audio tapes as I drove. Still they did not transform me. They informed me. 25 years later I am faced with transforming myself into what she’s indicating. That’s my closet she’s talking about.

 

I remember “playing nasty” as a child. “You go first and I will.” Did it as a teenager too. The dare might have ended in humiliation if I did it first and the other didn’t do it. Usually nobody did anything.

 

Marianne Williamson wrote the words. She’s also gone first. She’s not humiliated that I haven’t taken my side of the dare…not fully…not until…

 

So I say “Love is the Healer.” It is so absolutely true from my experiences. What do I really mean and what am I doing about it?

 

Confession time. I have been trying to get others to go first! I have done all kinds of contortions to make my being over the top gifted and fabulous beyond belief okay by activating that in other people so I can move my closet into a crowd of closets. I’m still trying to coerce others into going first.

 

I may not be the historical first but I have to be MY first. I have to go first for me. Humiliation will come from the wrong peeps but I will be identified by my Tribe. Everyone else? Not going to find my tribe if I don’t take the chance of being noticed and treated with less than full dignity by those who aren’t my tribe. These are fanciful words too. I can come up with a lot of word combinations that feel good for mental masturbation. Gets warm fuzzies but still avoids the core of being vulnerable and revealing self.

 

So I go first for me and to be identified by my tribe:

 

I, Dennis Nakuru Clegg, am powerful beyond measure. My greatest talent and love is exploring my relationship with energy and I am finding in me everything beyond the anthropomorphic gods is me. My very intention gets energy to come into compliance, making shifts and changes, taking form, and letting go of form. My intention and touch re-arranges people’s energy and bodies to become healthy. The forces of nature are energy and I can and many times have altered forces of nature with my intention for it to be so.

 

What has scared me is that the gods learned about weren’t this powerful. There were only words saying they were that powerful yet the caveat if one pays attention is that “he” uses people to carry out his work. We fail to notice that important part. We are the creator gods and I know for sure I am a creator god. I am not THE god, yet I am god and I know who else is too!

 

I know I drop the borders of my individual expression of Oneness and am expression of Oneness including every bit of information, every bit of wisdom, and every bit of power of Oneness. I also know there is no line excluding anyone from Oneness for any reason whatsoever. “Everyone is innocent here” (Miten).

 

I know that I don’t know and in that knowing I know. I know I have tremendous light to shine to brighten other lights.

 

I am way beyond any indication. Labels are brief descriptors of a part of the spectrum of me and without boundaries. Labels about me are for other people to know what they can partake of by joining with me as friend, client, lover, and recipient of healing available because it is me to be so. The labels I have said were little boxes that limited I now declare to be lights that radiate into infinity instead, crossing all other possibilities too.

 

I am a Mystic and beyond. I am a Wizard and beyond. I am a Shaman and beyond. I am a Healer and more. I am a survivor of trauma and grief giving me tremendous empathy and more as qualities of the healer and beyond I am. I am multi-gifted and more, grateful for the privilege of being so abundant in my being. I am a sacred sexuality practitioner and more. I am a sexual healer and beyond. I am a gifted public speaker and more. I am beyond being a gifted teacher. I am a warm and deeply connecting friend and more. I am a leader and more who steps forward as a powerful leader and beyond when situations call for it. I am a practitioner of my own Oneness possibilities and beyond, which means I am and will express as any possibility Oneness possesses. I am witty. I am humorous. I am entertaining. I am gregarious. I am quiet. I am meditation. I am a messenger. I am a channel of wisdom from my home, our seeding parent planet near the constellation Pleiades.

 

In the Jewish and Christian tradition it is correct to say I AM and leave it at that because to add to it would go on into infinity and be too much of an occupation to try to create words to describe it all. In Oneness consciousness I AM is the name of all of us. Just add more. I am a healer and more. I am creative and beyond. Always remember to at least think of more than your descriptions about you.

 

Key here: Descriptions are about. They aren’t who anyone is. They are only indicators about. About is all around but not the core, not the essence, just saying something about when in reality there weren’t words in the beginning and words are meager compared to what words cannot speak of. Knowing comes first then words about knowing. Knowing is always beyond words. There is no need for words when experience is not shared by 2 or more people.

 

It is only experience that makes words alive with meaning. Philosophizing about, theorizing about, will never meet being. In being, little has been well said.

 

So I declare I am powerful beyond measure. I declare I will dispense that in doses large and small to others in response to their asking for my power and greatness to meet with theirs. I will even love meeting those who are lost to who they are that some alignment with me will benefit them.

 

I stand as a healer, not the carpet bagging charlatans who advertise to collect fools to fleece them of their money, but as one who says “If you want to be healed, you are worthy of healing, and please acknowledge the worth of what is available through me so I can dedicate more of my time to you and others like you.”

 

I am gratitude and more. Oneness, Godliness, responds to the gratitude of loving what I have and adds to it beyond my ability to conceive of or receive as I am when it is given. Abundance is my birthright and reality. I had to wake up to that because I was asleep in a different hologram. I am an expression of abundance and yet I am one who needs the abundance of others to share in abundance.

 

I am an expression of Oneness and have no need to possess for all that is Oneness cannot cease to be available even by those who try to chop off pieces of oneness and possess them. Walls of possession only block away more abundance.

 

Love is the healer, not small love, not possessive love, not jealous love, not the love of the one and only possibility; BIG love, infinite love, in fact I am defining love as the force of Oneness that motivates energy to move from un-manifest to manifest. Love is the power that alters, changes, gives form to, and un-forms what doesn’t serve. Love is the marriage of the energies of Shiva and Shakti, that which takes form away from that which doesn’t serve and gives new form to serve.

 

Love is boundless because it is ever being explored in infinite expansion. It will never be finished to be packaged as a memory of what arrived at its final moment. Love is the energy that makes expansion inevitable.

 

The closet dissolved away. I am standing in the light only to realize I am the source of that light. I notice some trembling as I watch how far my light expands across life before I could limit it with any thought for it to do so. I stand in my light vulnerable to those who  may revile against me as my tribe notices I am one of them as I notice I am one with them.

 

It is already too late. I did it. I conceived of being outside of my closet and what never could happen from the outside happened because it couldn’t be otherwise.

 

PRO-INCLUSION POLICY: We encourage LOVE in whatever form is most comfortable and expressive of each individual soul. In alignment with our vision of an accepting and loving planet, we do our best to hold a safe space for everyone, regardless of people’s age, abilities, gender, gender identity, race, religion or belief, or sexual orientation.