Journey Beyond Manifesting


Manifesting had been marketed to a great deal in the last decade. It sells like sex and social acceptance. Hooray for moving out of slave mentality, victim survival, and helplessness!

I live in Sedona, Arizona. I muse at the number of single women who’re “manifesting” that man who is spiritual, has earned his fortune, travels the world, well you get the picture. They’ve been told to describe in great deal exactly what they want and put it into the universe to bring into their reality. Nice idea. There aren’t enough of these guys to go around. Perhaps there aren’t any at all. But there are a few guys who catch on to this and exploit the women with their appearances. The gals are so excited that what they’re manifesting has shown up and he gets to enjoy a few minutes before moving on to be the perfect manifestation of someone else for a few minutes.

This wasn’t too fun for me when I was single and watching women whose sights were missing me by a wide margin. I couldn’t afford the fine threads and classy ride, let alone sport a key to some great digs with a view. So I asked to be in cooperation with Existence for bringing what best serves me and with a bonus I might serve others in my abundance, whatever abundance is mine.

Here’s where my experience objects to manifesting:

I’ve been watching how it unfolds in my life. I don’t get behind the scenes with anyone else and my appearances are little more than the glaze on the ice of the tip of the iceberg…just like everyone else!

So here’s what I suspect! Our probabilities based on how we’re living our lives in the moment. All future moments are born of this moment. Everything is an extension of our current energy. Working from our current energies, our current ability to conceive of life we’d like to experience, is merely a continuation of the current whatever we’re mulling around in.

We are simply not able to conceive of a different future in any detail at all. If anything it is a wish with a world of barriers between where we are now and where we could possibly be.

So I put out into the Universe what I want. The universe says “what a glutton for punishment” as it enacts bringing all my stuff up that gets in the way of having my request, because my stuff of separation from what I think I am separate from; therefore wanting, must be dealt with and dissolved.

Then some new experiences must build new muscle for being able to show up in what I want.  That’s a tall order!

What is even more difficult for the universe to grant what people ask for, is the person who asks doesn’t want stuff coming up for resolution and sees the stuff coming up in the wrong way. Where’s the genie with the 3 wishes?

Okay. So between me and what I think I would be happier with, is a lot of why I am separate from what I want! There are reasons I’m sure I am separate. My reasons are all based in stories I haven’t noticed have expiration dates long ago past and are stale! I only want what I am separate from. If I knew I was one with it, I wouldn’t want. I would be in gratitude for its evolution. When I quit believing in separation, separation never was!

Separation is our enemy. It is a lie too. So separation is not real.

But our unhealed, unresolved, not dissolved, not dissipated stuff keeps us from seeing the connection we have with everything…every possibility…that comes from nothingness.

Get that: nothingness. The divine UN-manifest. How can we be separate from that which holds all possibilities? Because we’ve latched on to the old that seems to be present…old stuff that already came from the divine unmanifest, and we are living a life of separation from that so we discount any ability to be present for what the divine unmanifest will evolve into that is just right for us each moment.

Most likely the old stuff is somebody else’s appearances, or a fiction, but either way it certainly appears it isn’t ours.

I live in a wonderful house. Three years before I signed the mortgage papers with Lark, I followed the estate sale sign to a cul-de-sac, found parking and walked the gravel road to the house like all the other bargain hunters. But when I approached the house it was a blur! I couldn’t make out the house! I couldn’t see the stuff. I was bewildered. So I retreated to another sale.

That is my house. I’ve been putting my artistic expression and love into it. But three years had to pass before I would be marginally ready, before I had removed enough of what prevented me from my home before I could claim it as mine in the legal system.

What was really going on?

I had some ideas of the woman I really needed to have come into my life. She wasn’t my type at all! That was the beauty of it. She wouldn’t be my patterns in repetition. She was my friend a couple of years before the shift. Neither of us knew how to deal outside of our type. We’ve had to grow into it. Believe me there are massive nuances of barriers we’ve had come up to deal with to find the promise of this relationship. It was the right relationship. Problem was I was separated from it even when I was in it. That felt like forever. I couldn’t believe how we kept at what seemed impossible at times.

I was separate even when I was in it! I knew I had been getting “hits” to prepare me for her…sometimes in detail. But I was still separate, even though my best relationship was in process!

What was left out in my future vision was what it would be like removing everything that would prevent me from connecting with my potential with her. Had I known that, I wouldn’t have had the courage. All at once seeing that in one big “this is what you’re going to go through for this” would have sent me into the arms of my type forever!

Here’s my theory. The most supported future kept giving me hints of what it would be like, for me to grow into. I thought I was manifesting when really I was bringing myself into alignment with what was not in my current energy, not my current patterns, and certainly not my type. Did I mention my type brought the same story with different names and faces?

My type was my enemy. It was familiar to me. Lark hasn’t been familiar. We aren’t the people who entered into our relationship. They didn’t survive. They were separate and still are. But from them there was emergence into who is not separate from all we have. And we’re really blessed. I couldn’t conceive of this. Not this! It wasn’t in me.

But this gave me hints that helped me through the dark jungle of previous me, to now me, free of the separation from this.

I know the Goddess now. She loves me. She’s amazing. But she’s sensitive and has her filters set to keep out all the begging and placating of prayers. The same old, same old, of prayer being every conceivable attempt to get her to grant what people think they’re separate from is what she set her filters to prevent. She can’t work with the basic reality people can’t receive what they believe they are separate from, even if it isn’t true they’re separate from it. The errors in belief have to be removed first!

The first step as Goddess is to hear the prayers…really hear them between the lines. Goddess can do that. Then the second step as Goddess is to inventory everything that doesn’t serve being able to receive what is asked for. The third step as Goddess is to develop a plan to remove the belief barriers so those who are asking will begin to see they aren’t separate from what they ask. The fourth step as Goddess is the hardest, not because the tasks are difficult, but because the would be receivers of the benefits have hissie fits and think they’re being victimized rather than to accept the work being done to bring their desires into alignment with oneness with what they want. That is why Goddess put up the barriers. Few people understood they were asking for wisdom to be enacted in their behalf.

So rarely it happens: Someone is so busy living it up with what they have, what they’re not separate from, they are simply filled with gratitude and are sure they’re rich in what is right there with them in the moment. They’re using it well, without hesitation, knowing the supply is inexhaustible. If not more of the same when it is used up, evolution from this to even more is a sure thing and they’re celebrating it!

Goddess notices she and these beings are not separate! And in their celebrating gratitude for all they have in the moment they have it, not worrying about what is no more and knowing the moments keep unfolding with even more, source—supply is assured.

And here is why. Goddess cannot hold back what someone knows they’re one with, including intimacy with Goddess herself. What she is, what she has, was never separate and those who are without separation are in her…and she’s in them and so is everything else, even possibilities not yet evolved from the divine unmanifest.

See the moment of conceiving something is the moment when in knowing, it has essence and is coming into moments of reality.

And Goddess was my own inner divine feminine intimately one with my inner divine masculine. They’re not separate from anything…even the nothingness of the divine unmanifest!

Even when I appeared to be an abused child I wasn’t separate from this. Even when I was homeless I wasn’t separate from this. When I was sure I was victim mashed into pulp, my now was giving me glimpses so I would know I wasn’t and couldn’t be what it appeared I was then.

There’s a rags to riches story but I know the truth is they were in each other. Something of my great life I am immensely grateful for, always has the essence of how impoverished and beaten down it appeared I was once upon a time. But then again at the lowest moments when I was far from gratitude for anything and wanted any solution to getting relief right now, right when I wanted it, the essence of now was there encrusted by all that gave the appearance now wasn’t there, wasn’t possible, was for other people and not me, and challenged me with hope.

My whole life can be summed up in one concept: transformation. And transformation has been removing the belief blinders so what I was never separate from would totally express in gratitude! And now I know coming moments contain gifts I cannot yet conceive of and right now I am learning to accept and revel in the gifts appearing each moment because the future is more and I don’t yet know how to be in more than this.

I am overflowing. How much more than this can one overflow? It isn’t about increasing the capacity of the container to contain more without overflowing. It is about dissolving away the walls of the container and just being in the flow of it all.

Trying to contain constricts! Dropping the desire to contain, all possibilities flow through and around.


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