Living Within Paradox


Sixteen years ago I stayed in India participating in the Osho Commune International. Today I am again in India. It reminds me I cannot step into the same river twice. This is not the same India and I am staying in the Guesthouse with the pyramid just a few feet from the window of my room in Osho Meditation Resort. Sixteen years ago this was a large hole in the ground with machines still digging it deeper. It is truly a meditation resort, no longer a commune. All of the changes are wonderfully refreshing and supportive of meditation.

A few days ago I had a realization. It was really significant for me. I came to know that there is a gap between experiencing moment, being in moment, and conceiving of language to talk about what I experienced as a moment. I came to realize if I am in any language in my thoughts I am in the past, not in the moment and it is utterly impossible to experience thoughts with language and be in moment awareness. This is a breakthrough discovery of witnessing myself.

My realization was short-lived. The next evening at the evening meeting in the pyramid now called Osho Auditorium, the video of Osho’s discourse (soon it will be the 25th year since Osho left his body) Osho spoke of my breakthrough. My greatness as a pioneer of realization was transformed into the wonder of how Osho was explaining my realization and introducing me to a metaphor to understand further. He explained how the longest distance between two points is the distance between the moment and language.

“The distance between this and the statement about this is the greatest distance between two points.” –Osho—I Celebrate Myself. God is no where, life is now here, chapter 5: Don’t Knock, Wait!

I’m a difficult case. I need to realize something myself before I will hear someone else telling about it. I am a guy who will be swimming in the bay, bump into an object I wasn’t seeing, explore it, and excited swim to others to tell them what I found, only to have them tell me “yes, we see there is a ship in the bay.” To make it even more real, I come to a great awareness then I explore teachings of Zen Masters and other great sages through time and find they were speaking of it.

I just got my frame of reference to know of what they were speaking. Now I know there is a ship in the bay, I hear others are speaking about it.

Frame of reference is showing its importance to me as if it is a being with a life of its own. What is outside my frame of reference doesn’t exist for me.

My wife and I have been experimenting with telling people about some amazing phenomenon we’ve come to know well. We can directly tell and even actually do something outside of people’s frame of reference and they don’t hear it, they don’t see it, it is not existing for them. They don’t have frame of reference, or even more so, their frame of references are so defined in their conditioning they can only experience what they believe, not what is there.

Paradoxes are infinite. There are paradoxes within paradoxes within paradoxes etc.

Our conditioning, our programming, frames what our realities can be. Something that doesn’t fit is denied, ignored, and mashed out of existence if it barely disturbs the frame of reference of our programming and conditioning.

Schools are all about expanding our frames of reference, giving us necessary information to fit into our frames of reference, and practice to develop skills so the new information and possibilities remain our reality and skill set.

Still even the schooling that expands us also creates walls that block away other possibilities that do not serve the purposes and interests of the schooling.

When I first learned of Osho I formed a limiting belief that because Osho spoke on every aspect of every conceivable subject, there was nothing for me to teach, nothing I could do as a teacher that was needed any more. I quit writing. I didn’t accept the draw of my life to reach out to others, offering tools for them. They could get all they need from Osho.

So in all these years, without any membership rosters it is difficult to say how far Osho’s reach has penetrated into the population of the planet. So let’s say there are 7 million people who really resonate with and get how Osho delivered ancient messages in his way. That’s about 2 hours’ worth of people coming and going through birth and death. If the population of the earth is 7 billion or even more, the penetration is one-one-thousandth of the world population. And how many of those have already left the incarnation in which they valued Osho?

These past 2 nights, the discourse has been about accepting myself. I know the story was told about ancient Zen Masters but it was directed at me because it has always been my struggle. I don’t know what the other people were doing there while I got my hammering.

It also means accepting the individual piece and purpose of Oneness I am while at the same time continuing to be conscious of my being Oneness itself as all else is also. My expression of individuality cannot be actualized until I accept it equally as much as I accept my being Oneness. I am essential just as everyone else and everything else is. Then I become utterly normal, utterly the same importance as everyone else, essential in individuality in the Oneness.

What does that mean for me? More than I can imagine just now.  The bay is part of the Ocean I haven’t explored to see what other ships there are. I have gifts, some exceptional things come at times and so surprise me I deny they are part of my individual expression of Oneness. So I deny Oneness the benefits of why I was ever given individual expression. I don’t accept and act on the individual expression of Oneness, so I don’t explore the possibilities my unique package of abilities and challenges are with other individual expressions of Oneness to expand Oneness repertoire of experience, understanding, and wisdom.


What is served by my choosing to be small, limited, and to hide away my talents and abilities with stories and excuses about how people won’t accept them? Yet who is the very one who isn’t accepting first?

How will others receive clear messages that my individual package of uniqueness is something to accept and relate with if I hesitate to accept it myself?

Osho is perhaps the world’s greatest orator. I cannot imitate or match if I compare to Osho as the one-and-only perfect possibility for offering tools to others that might be useful for their unique expressions of individuality as Oneness! Even Osho spoke of the many Masters who taught in many ways that resonated with just a few and may still resonate when we hear about it now.

The question is me accepting myself and being the unique master I suppress, to express to the world in my unique way for anyone who might find inspiration or even no one at all. It isn’t for me to determine an outcome before even beginning. Yet that is exactly what I want to do is control the outcome, have it assured to my safety and satisfaction, before I will even accept myself and live it with any degree of consistency.

I’m in this frenzy of determining what I can say, what I can teach, if there are a few who see my ship in the bay and want me to make it alive for them. And I know I cannot prepare anything. If and when the time comes the best I can do, the best I always have done when I showed up in my best, was to be an empty vessel that shows up and looks within the paradox of my being Oneness and at the same time being an individual expression of Oneness doing just a little different in my uniqueness to give perspectives about the ship in the bay so at least something about the ship may begin to appear for someone who is inspired through me.

And for me, what could be more delightful?

PRO-INCLUSION POLICY: We encourage LOVE in whatever form is most comfortable and expressive of each individual soul. In alignment with our vision of an accepting and loving planet, we do our best to hold a safe space for everyone, regardless of people’s age, abilities, gender, gender identity, race, religion or belief, or sexual orientation.